good morning, midnight.

Another beautiful summer night. It's about midnight and I've just about gotten home. Sleep is as evasive as ever but it's just a gorgeous night to be awake so I'm not really complaining. There's hope now and some semblance of energy that should get things moving in the right direction. Letting has been harder than I thought and I have no one else to blame but myself.

Here's to another night that promises of a brand new morning.

hold that thought ...

very nice:
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
-- Author Unknown

I remember, as a child, playing endlessly on those monkey bars and having the skin on my hands peel right off because I held on too hard. Is there a lesson in here somewhere?

(Aah, yes ... avoid those darn monkey bars. Play hopscotch, instead.)

10.21 p.m. any day, anywhere.

Life you funny little thing: You’ve kicked me hardest when I’m down yet you’ve lifted me to unfathomable heights. Tonight I’m sitting here, at rock bottom in my 16th floor apartment balcony, living through this maelstrom of emotions and there’s nothing I can do but hold on tight hardly knowing where you’ll take me next. Life you funny little thing: you’ve taught me to improve on everything that I believe in yet you threaten to take it away in a single instant. Life, you odd little ball of uncertainty, you’ve shown me things that I would never have dreamed of and promised me the world of happiness never telling me when it will be mine and when it won’t anymore.

Today’s been a rollercoaster. What started off with the sight of a friend’s tear-stained face in the morning, unraveled into a series of inconsequential, then high-strung, then inconsequential moments. Difficult decisions plagued my mind, sometimes giving me strength, other times just barely seeing me through. All this as I did my best to function for an office-full of seemingly functional colleagues. Today, life reminded me that I will never know what lies around the corner. And whether that’s a good thing, or whether rock bottom from the 16th floor is still rock bottom, the truth is this: that’s—just—life. I’ll just have to do the best I can, then sit back and watch the moon rise.

godot would know

for some odd reason, this quote has been playing and replaying in my head all morning:
The tears of the world are a constant quantity. For each one who begins to weep somewhere else another stops. The same is true of the laugh.

(today, my friend is going through a rough patch which has kept me from fretting about my own life)