Sunday, April 12, 2009

Well Thought Out

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. (Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah)

Lately I’ve been drawn to books with a common theme. “What Would You Do If You Had No Fear,” “The Secret,” and “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” all seem to be telling me the same thing: to believe in the power of good, to envision my life in a certain way and so it shall be, ask and you shall receive. The truth is I want to believe. It’s such an empowering feeling to think that I can will things in my direction or away from me. That the universe is working to keep me happy. That happiness is the default setting in each of our lives. I want to believe but it’s hard when people are dying of cancer or bullet wounds. It’s impossible when I walk by a homeless man in Georgetown bundled up in the freezing cold. Why won’t he just wish happiness upon himself?

The thing is I think he’s probably doing it every minute of every day. He can’t be wishing for much else. Tough stuff. Yet in my life whenever I’ve had these positive days when I expect things to work, they have. There’s something about my frame of mind when I set out to reign supreme that forces me to believe that we’re spending too much time and energy expecting things to go wrong. I wonder then if it’s true – that happiness is meant for each of us and anything different is an exception to the rule.

I certainly have the privilege to mull over these existential questions while others are out living them. I want to believe. I really, really do.

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