Met my friend after ages. The first thing she said to me? "You've gone SO fat -- you even have a paunch."
Erm, yes, the silver lining to that (because there's ALWAYS a silver lining) is that apparently I look so obnoxious that she didn't have the heart to get to the follow up question: "So, when are you getting married?"
Coz no one would want to marry a fat frump with a paunch. No siree bob.
::phew::
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